The thing about Marcus Reid is that he's never had to work for anything.
I know this because I've spent the last three weeks observing him like he's a particularly fascinating case study in evolutionary psychology. Which, technically, he is. The textbook alpha male: broad shoulders, easy confidence, a smile that makes people want to confess their credit card debt to him. Girls follow him around campus like he's emitting some kind of pheromone cocktail specifically designed to short-circuit female decision-making.
It's pathetic, really.
It's also very useful.
I corner him outside the cognitive psychology lecture hall on a Thursday afternoon, my heart doing something embarrassing and athletic against my ribs. This is stupid. I know it's stupid. Sophie definitely thinks it's stupid, and she hasn't even heard the full plan yet.
Marcus is walking with two of his lacrosse teammates, laughing about something that probably involves beer or girls or both. He's wearing a gray henley that clings to his chest in a way that feels aggressively unfair, and his tousled dark blond hair catches the afternoon light filtering through the hallway windows.
I hate that I noticed the light.
"Reid."
He doesn't hear me. Of course he doesn't—he's too busy being charismatic and unbothered by the universe's general unfairness. I quicken my pace, my vintage Converse squeaking against the linoleum floor like a dying mouse.
"Marcus."
Still nothing. His teammates are laughing louder now, and I can feel my window of opportunity closing. I take a breath, straighten my spine, and do something I almost never do.
I touch him.
My hand finds his elbow, and the second my fingers make contact with his arm, something electric arcs between us. It's just skin on fabric, just a basic human touch, but my nervous system apparently didn't get the memo that this is supposed to be clinical and detached.
He stops mid-laugh.
Turns.
And those gray-green eyes lock onto mine with the kind of intensity that makes my carefully constructed arguments about biochemistry feel suddenly, dangerously fragile.
"Chen." His voice is warm, amused, like he's been waiting for me to touch him. Like he knew I would. "What's up?"
His teammates are watching now, sensing the shift in his attention like sharks detecting blood in the water. I hate being watched. I hate being the subject of curiosity. But I need this more than I hate those things, so I lift my chin and force myself to hold his gaze.
"Can we talk? Privately?"
Something flickers across his face—surprise, maybe, or interest. Marcus Reid doesn't usually have to chase. Girls approach him with their eyes down and their sentences half-formed. I'm doing the opposite, and I can see the exact moment he realizes it.
"Yeah. Sure." He glances at his friends. "Catch you guys later."
They exchange looks—the kind of looks that suggest they think Marcus is about to get laid. The irony is almost funny.
Almost.
---
We end up in the library because it's public and neutral and far away from Professor Ashford's office, which has been feeling increasingly like a trap lately. The psychology section is quiet, tucked away in the back corner where nobody ever goes because everyone's too busy studying in the main area where they can be seen.
Marcus leans against the bookshelf, and the scent of him hits me immediately—cedarwood and smoke and something wild that makes my hindbrain light up like a pinball machine. It's intoxicating in a way that feels almost aggressive.
"So," he says, and there's a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "You finally decided to talk to me."
"I've talked to you before."
"You've been in the same classroom as me. That's different." He crosses his arms, and the motion stretches the fabric of his henley across his chest. I force my eyes to stay on his face. "You're always watching. Did you think I didn't notice?"
My stomach does something complicated.
"I notice a lot of things," I say, which is both true and completely unhelpful. "That's actually why I wanted to talk to you."
"Because you've noticed things about me?"
"Because I need your help with something."
The smile fades slightly. He uncrosses his arms, and I can see him shifting into something more serious, like he's adjusting the frequency of his attention. "Okay. What kind of help?"
This is the moment where I'm supposed to be rational. Scientific. I've prepared for this conversation like I prepare for everything—with data, with backup plans, with a carefully constructed argument that removes emotion from the equation. My thesis proposal is solid. My methodology is sound. There's no reason this should feel like I'm about to jump out of an airplane.
"I'm doing a study," I say, and my voice sounds steadier than I feel. "For my senior thesis. It's about the psychological mechanisms underlying romantic attraction. How people form bonds. The neurobiology of desire."
"Okay," Marcus says slowly. "And you're telling me this because...?"
"Because I need a subject. Someone willing to participate in a controlled experiment." I take a breath. "I need you to fake date me for the semester while I document the psychological processes involved."
For a moment, there's nothing but silence. The library seems to hold its breath with me. Somewhere in the distance, a book cart wheels past, and the fluorescent lights hum their quiet, sterile song.
Then Marcus laughs.
It's not mean—that's the problem. It's warm and genuine and slightly delighted, like I've just told him the funniest joke he's heard in weeks. He runs a hand through his hair, and I watch the gesture with the kind of focus that's definitely not clinical.
"You want me to fake date you," he says. It's not a question.
"Yes."
"For a thesis."
"Yes."
"So you'd be documenting... what, exactly? How we interact? How our brains respond to physical proximity?" He's still smiling, but there's something sharper in his eyes now. Something that suggests he's not as amused as he's pretending. "That's actually kind of brilliant. In a weird, deeply clinical way."
"It's a legitimate study in relationship psychology," I say, defensive. "Attachment theory, oxytocin release, dopamine pathways—"
"I know what it is." He steps closer, and I have to physically restrain myself from stepping back. That's the thing about Marcus—he doesn't respect personal space. He moves through the world like it all belongs to him, including the air around other people. "I'm just trying to understand why you're asking me specifically."
Because you're beautiful and charismatic and you make girls stupid, and I need to understand why. Because you're a perfect specimen of evolutionary psychology in action. Because I've been watching you for three weeks and I need to know if attraction is just biology or if there's something more, something that doesn't fit into my neat little categories.
"You're ideal for the study," I say instead. "You have a proven track record of successfully initiating and maintaining romantic connections. You're willing to take risks. And you're..." I pause, searching for the right word. "Observable."
"Observable." He repeats it like it's a flavor he's tasting. "That's one way to put it."
"Is that a no?"
He's quiet for a moment, and I watch his face shift through several expressions I can't quite read. Finally, he steps back, which gives me enough space to breathe again, though I'm not sure if that's a relief or a disappointment.
"What are the parameters?" he asks.
"What?"
"The rules. If we're fake dating, what does that mean? How physical? How public? What are you and aren't you going to document?"
I hadn't expected him to ask these questions. I had expected him to say no, or to make some joke about me being weird and then walk away. The fact that he's asking logistics suggests he's actually considering this, which sends a spike of adrenaline through my system.
"We'd need to establish clear boundaries," I say, my voice slipping into the careful, measured tone I use for presentations. "Physical contact within acceptable social norms for a dating couple. Public appearances. I'd document behavioral observations, physiological responses where possible—heart rate, pupil dilation, that sort of thing."
"You want to take my heart rate while we're on a date."
"If possible, yes."
"You're going to kill my vibe, Chen."
"That's not my concern."
"It should be. If you want authentic data, you need me to actually be able to function like a normal human being on these dates." He's smiling again, but it's different now—less performative, more genuine. "So here's my counter-proposal. We do this, but you have to actually try. No clipboard. No clinical distance. You have to let yourself be present in the moment, or the whole thing falls apart."
My chest tightens. "That's not how science works."
"No, but it's how people work. And if you're studying people, you kind of have to remember that we're irrational and messy and we don't perform well when someone's taking notes." He tilts his head, studying me. "You're not going to get good data if you're constantly reminding yourself this is fake."
He's right. I hate that he's right. The irony of him understanding my thesis better than I do in this moment is not lost on me.
"Okay," I hear myself say. "We'll try it your way."
"Great. When's our first date?"
"Tomorrow? There's a coffee place near campus—"
"No." He shakes his head. "If we're doing this, we're doing it right. Saturday night. I'll pick you up at seven. Wear something that isn't a band t-shirt."
"I like my band t-shirts."
"I know. That's why you're going to wear something else." He's already walking backward, away from me, and his smile is dangerous. "See you Saturday, Dr. Chen."
I watch him go, my heart still doing that athletic thing against my ribs, my skin still tingling where his elbow was.
This is fine. This is totally fine. I've made a calculated decision based on available data and resource optimization. There's no reason this should feel like I've just lit a match and thrown it into a room full of gasoline.
---
Sophie takes the news exactly as well as I expected, which is to say she takes it like I've announced I'm joining a cult.
"Absolutely not," she says, pacing our apartment like a small, colorful tornado. She's wearing a vintage dress covered in sunflowers, and her curls are escaping from a yellow scrunchie. "Iris, this is insane. This is the definition of insane. This is insanity in its purest form."
"It's a study—"
"It's a disaster. A slow-motion car crash that you're voluntarily getting into." She stops pacing and points at me. "You don't do feelings. You don't do physical contact. You don't do anything that requires you to be vulnerable, and you're about to spend an entire semester pretending to date the hottest guy on campus while documenting your own emotional collapse."
"I'm not going to have an emotional collapse."
"You're going to have several." Sophie drops onto our threadbare couch, and I can see the shift in her expression—the anger melting into concern. "Iris, I know why you're doing this. I know you think if you can understand attraction scientifically, you can protect yourself from it. But that's not how this works."
"How what works?"
"Love. Connection. All the things you're so convinced are just chemical reactions." She leans forward, her brown eyes intense. "You can't study it from the outside. You have to feel it. And I'm terrified that when you do, you're going to break."
I sit down next to her, and for a moment, we're quiet. Sophie is the only person in the world who knows about my parents, about the way my father's leaving destroyed my mother in slow motion, about the way I watched her fall apart and decided I would never be that vulnerable to anyone.
"I won't break," I say, and I almost believe it.
"You will." Sophie takes my hand, and her warmth is immediate and comforting in a way that makes my chest hurt. "But maybe that's okay. Maybe breaking is how you learn to be whole."
I don't answer because I can't. Because she's right in a way that terrifies me, and I'm not ready to admit it yet.
---
Saturday comes too fast and too slow simultaneously, which is exactly what I would expect from a day that exists in quantum superposition with my anxiety.
I spend the afternoon changing outfits seven times, which is completely ridiculous because this is fake, because it doesn't matter what I wear, because Marcus Reid has dated supermodels and I'm just a girl in a band t-shirt who happens to be studying him.
Sophie vetoes every option until I emerge from my closet in a black dress that's somehow both elegant and slightly dangerous—a fitted thing that hits mid-thigh and clings to me in ways that make me hyperaware of my own body. It's not me. But maybe that's the point.
"You look beautiful," Sophie says, and she's smiling, but there's sadness in it. Like she's already mourning the version of me that's about to shatter.
At 6:57, my phone buzzes.
I'm outside.
My stomach does a flip that has nothing to do with science and everything to do with the fact that I'm about to spend the evening in close proximity to someone whose scent alone is enough to make my carefully constructed arguments about empirical data feel suddenly, dangerously fragile.
I grab my jacket and head downstairs before I can change my mind.
Marcus is leaning against a car I don't recognize—something sleek and dark that somehow fits him perfectly. He's wearing a charcoal button-down with the sleeves rolled up, and his hair is still tousled but somehow more intentional. He looks like he stepped out of a magazine designed specifically to make women make bad decisions.
When he sees me, his expression shifts into something that looks almost like surprise.
"Hi," I say, because apparently my vocabulary has been reduced to monosyllabic words.
"Hi." He steps forward, and the scent of cedarwood and smoke envelops me. "You look incredible."
"You said to wear something that wasn't a band t-shirt."
"I did. And I was right." He reaches out like he's going to touch me, and I watch my own body betray my brain by leaning toward him instead of away. His hand finds the small of my back, and even through the fabric of the dress, the warmth of his palm feels like it's burning a mark into my skin. "Come on. I want to show you something."
---
The restaurant is not what I expected.
I had assumed Marcus would take me somewhere trendy and expensive, somewhere designed to be seen. Instead, he takes me to a small Italian place tucked away on a side street, the kind of place that has red checkered tablecloths and candles in wine bottles and smells like garlic and possibility.
"My nonna used to bring me here," he says as we're seated at a corner table. "When I was a kid and my parents were fighting. She'd let me order whatever I wanted and she'd tell me stories about Italy and she'd pretend like everything at home was fine."
I don't know how to respond to this information. It's not clinical data. It's vulnerability, and it's being offered to me like a gift I'm not sure how to unwrap.
"That's..." I pause, searching for the right word. "That's nice."
He laughs, and there's something sad in it. "You can say that's sad. You don't have to pretend it's nice."
"It is sad," I admit. "But it's also nice. Both things can be true."
"Look at you, being all nuanced." He opens the menu, but he's still watching me over the top of it. "So how does this work? Do you need me to say things that are authentically me, or do you need me to be more of a caricature?"
"Just be yourself."
"That's dangerous, Chen. You might find out I'm not actually a cardboard cutout of a college athlete."
"I already know you're not," I say, and it's true. I've watched him too long, observed too carefully. I know he helps his roommate with his calculus homework. I know he volunteers at the community center. I know he's intelligent in a way that he hides behind charm and easy smiles. "That's why I asked you."
Something shifts in his expression—a softening, maybe, or a recognition of some kind. He sets down the menu and leans forward, his elbows on the table, his full attention on me in a way that feels almost dangerous.
"So what you're saying is you've been stalking me."
"Observing."
"Stalking," he repeats, and he's smiling. "I like it. It's very romantic."
"It's not romantic. It's scientific."
"Can't it be both?"
The waiter arrives before I have to answer, which is good because I don't have an answer. Not one that fits into the neat categories I've created for this experiment.
We order—he recommends the pasta, and I take his advice, which feels like a small surrender. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm aware that I should be taking notes, documenting observations, maintaining clinical distance. But instead, I'm watching the way the candlelight catches in his eyes, the way his hands move when he talks, the way he leans slightly toward me like I'm the most interesting thing he's encountered.
"Tell me something true," he says as we wait for our food.
"Like what?"
"Anything. Something you don't usually tell people."
I should deflect. I should keep this light and surface-level. Instead, I hear myself say, "I don't believe in love."
He doesn't look shocked, which somehow makes it worse. "Why not?"
"Because it's a chemical reaction. Dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine—it's just your brain trying to convince you that another person is special when really, they're just triggering your reward pathways." I'm speaking too fast, the words tumbling out like they've been waiting for permission. "People confuse the feeling for something meaningful, and then they destroy themselves trying to hold onto it."
"Did someone destroy themselves trying to hold onto it?"
My mother's face flashes through my mind—the way she looked at my father after he left, like he'd taken the part of her that knew how to function.
"Yes," I say quietly.
Marcus is quiet for a moment, and then he reaches across the table and takes my hand. His palm is warm, his fingers strong, and my instinct is to pull away. But I don't. I sit there with my hand in his, feeling my pulse jump against my wrist, and I wait for him to say something stupid or dismissive.
Instead, he says, "I think you're right. About the chemicals, I mean. Love is probably just biology. But that doesn't make it less real. It just means the feeling is real even if the reason for it is chemical."
"That's a contradiction."
"Yeah. Welcome to being human." He doesn't let go of my hand. "Everything is a contradiction. Everything is real and fake at the same time."
I should point out that he's being illogical. I should cite studies and data and evidence. Instead, I'm acutely aware of the warmth of his hand, the slight pressure of his thumb against my palm, the way my heart rate has accelerated in a manner that I can't attribute to coffee or anxiety.
The waiter brings our food, and Marcus reluctantly releases my hand. I spend the next twenty minutes trying to eat pasta while being hyperaware of the space between us, the way his knee brushes mine under the table, the sound of his laugh when I accidentally drop a strand of spaghetti on myself.
"You're a mess," he says, reaching across the table with a napkin.
"I'm aware."
"I like it." He dabs at the sauce on my chin with a gentleness that feels almost intimate. "You're not trying to be perfect. Most girls I date—they're always performing. Always trying to look right, say the right thing. You just... exist."
"That's not a compliment."
"It absolutely is." He sets down the napkin, but his hand lingers near my face, and I'm suddenly acutely aware that we're in a public place, that people could be watching, that the distance between his mouth and mine is approximately six inches.
I pull back, and I watch him register the movement.
"Sorry," I say, which is ridiculous because I'm not sorry, I'm terrified.
"Don't be." He sits back, and the moment dissipates like smoke. "I'm getting ahead of myself. We're supposed to be taking this slow, right? Building the relationship gradually?"
"Right," I say, and my voice sounds strained. "Slow is good. Slow is scientific."
"Slow is torture," he says, but he's smiling, "but I can work with it."
---
By the time we leave the restaurant, I'm wound so tight I could probably power a small city with my nervous energy.
Marcus walks me to my door, and I'm hyperaware of his presence beside me—the warmth radiating from his body, the sound of his breathing, the way his scent seems to have infiltrated my entire olfactory system.
"So," he says, hands in his pockets like he's trying to physically restrain himself. "Did I pass your test?"
"It's not a test."
"Isn't it? You're evaluating how I perform in a dating scenario."
"I'm observing how we interact."
"Same thing." He steps closer, and my breath catches. "So? What's the verdict?"
I should tell him the truth: that he's dangerous, that he's nothing like I expected, that my carefully constructed arguments about chemistry and neurobiology are starting to feel like they're missing something essential. That he makes me want to believe in things I've spent my entire life trying to disprove.
Instead, I say, "You did fine."
"Fine." He repeats it like it tastes bad. "That's not very enthusiastic."
"I don't do enthusiastic."
"Maybe you should try it sometime." His hand comes up, and his fingers trace the line of my jaw with a gentleness that makes my knees feel suddenly unreliable. "Next Saturday. Same time?"
I should say no. I should end this experiment before it becomes something I can't control. But his fingers are on my face, and I'm breathing his air, and my heart is doing things that definitely aren't in any textbook.
"Okay," I whisper.
He leans in, and for a moment, I think he's going to kiss me. I'm almost certain he's going to kiss me, and I'm not sure if I want him to or if I want to run. But instead, he presses his forehead against mine, and his breath is warm against my skin.
"You're going to drive me crazy," he says.
"That's the plan."
"No," he says softly. "I don't think it is. I think you're going to drive me crazy by accident, just by being you."
Then he steps back, and I'm left standing on my doorstep, trembling, my hand pressed against my jaw where his fingers were, wondering if I've just made the biggest mistake of my life or the best decision I've ever made.
The terrifying part is that I can't tell the difference anymore.




